I was putting away dishes this week when a revelation the Lord has been working to impart in my heart seized me and finally began to sink in. I’d been living in my home for the passed 2 1/2 years, just passing the days here until I can finally purchase my dream home and life really begin for my little family. But in that moment of putting those dishes into the cabinet I finally saw what the Lord has been trying to speak to me for weeks.
Home has always been high on my list of priorities. Cultivating a space in which my family feels inspired, at peace, and a sense of belonging has been a dream kept at the forefront of my mind since I was a little girl.
This time last year we were expecting our daughter, and I remember the nagging worry I felt about not being able to give her all that she’d need. We currently live in a one bedroom home. I can’t think of the square footage off the top of my head but I’m sitting on my couch in one corner of my house and with the bedroom door open, the corner furthest from this spot is not too far away. We live in a tiny home.
You can imagine the anxiety I felt at the thought of bringing a newborn into such a small place. It’s amazing though what love does. When she came into our lives, having space was the last thing on our minds. We wanted no space. Being as close as possible was the only appropriate response to having so much love placed in your arms. There is truly a multiplying power at work when the love between two people creates a little life. Love exponentially increases.
We have a sign above our stove that says, “love grows well in little houses.” Each home that Tuck and I have lived in has been tiny. There has never been room enough to escape during an argument. Never room enough to enjoy hobbies apart from each other. Never room enough to miss the little idiosyncrasies of the other. And because there has been so little space between us we have unearthed the trash and the treasure in one another.
I can’t imagine not having had this time of living close. I don’t know that Tuck and I could have made it this far if the space in which God placed us had allowed for distance between us. Every sigh, every word spoken under our breath, the sound my face makes when I smile (yeah it’s a thing), my attentiveness to the movements my very quiet husband makes, all became a part of an exchange between us that forced us to deal with one another. It’s the best thing I could hope for any couple willing to put in the life-long work it takes to cultivate a stellar marriage.
Though our daughter is about to be a year old and sleeps in the kitchen, I’m falling in love with our home all over again. I know we won’t always be here so I want to appreciate this house for the life that has unfolded here, the love that has grown well here, which seems to have been absorbed in the laminate floors I can never mop enough, and the walls we painted grey last year.
I’m finding the little nooks that have daily spoken “home” to me so that I can remember when we are in our 3 bedroom home one day, the conversation we had with this house, the life we lived within its dry-walled arms. I encourage you to treasure the small stuff in your life while they’re small.
“Do not despise small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin.” Zechariah 4:10