This summer I was encouraged to invest in myself. After years of dreaming big and still seeing so little fruit in certain areas of my life, disappointment was beginning to contaminate my thoughts of the future. Invest in myself? What, like get a pedicure?
I realized in my tunnel vision I’d allowed my heart to neglect other dreams while in pursuit of this one. Because my heart was broken over the one, I’d found myself distancing myself from people and from my passions. I could sense the distance from my heart and home increasing and knew something had to be done immediately. After all, what of the dream I’d held for so long of family? Was I going to let this one assault on my career keep me from pouring into and enjoying the loves of my life?
I began to simplify my schedule and become intentional about my time with my daughter and with my husband. Saying “no” to others has never been my strong suit but when there is something as precious as family on the line, you rally the courage. Since doing so, I’ve felt my daughter’s little heart beam in the knowledge that she’s captured my attention. And the response in my husband has been similar.
You see, they were my first and dearest dream. It’s funny how once we’ve attained a dream, we tend to neglect investing in it with the same fervor we did before it was in our possession. I realized that investing in my family was an investment in myself. A human being pouring into their dream is deeply fulfilling, whatever that dream may be, but especially if it is fulfilling for others.
On this journey of investing in myself I also began to search out those passions which had laid dormant, allowing myself to engage with and revive them. I’ve found a new vocal instructor and am taking lessons again. I’m drawing, and decorating, and taking care of myself. And I’m doing these things for no one’s benefit but my own. And it feels good. And unsurprisingly everyone around me benefits from the change in my attitude and the releasing of my gifts.
Don’t be afraid of investing in yourself on your journey. It will not detract from your destination. As long as you know who you are in Him and what you are about, no time invested in growing yourself and tending your dreams is wasted time. Even if they do not seem to pertain to the end you have in mind, every element of who the Father has created you to be, is valuable and worthy of attendance.
So, in the waiting, release your gifts and explore your dreams. Leave no rock un-turned in the quarry of your passions. You may be surprised at what you find there. You certainly won’t be disappointed.